I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
