my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
