I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
