Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
