WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
