is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
