drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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