matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
