My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
