I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
