If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
