party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
