just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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