So drunk its hurt
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
