can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I would ride that face into the sunset
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
