Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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