i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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