If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
