I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
