when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
