What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
