stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
