also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
