Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
