Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
