"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
