so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
