It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
