so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
