someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
