sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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