He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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