her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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