dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
