i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
