The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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