Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
