In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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