we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
