i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
