hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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