dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
