Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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