help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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