So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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