Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
