just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
