i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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