We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
