I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
