Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
